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I know...
If you are a parent, then you will be well familiar with this phrase. You are trying to warn your child about something and they come back with “I know…” This potent phrase wards them from listening to a single thing you say. Truth be told, they do know: know in the sense that they have the information in their brains. This is like owning a book on car maintenance which has been thumbed through but never used in anger. Knowing something at this level of having packets-of-information is very different from Life Knowledge that comes from real experience. I suspect the parents amongst my readership are now nodding and thinking something like “The folly of youth..” Me too, but before we start enjoying these grey hairs too much perhaps we need to reflect that this behaviour doesn’t time expire and that we all still do it. As we age we just do it better! This is just a tactic to prevent us engaging with challenging thoughts and ideas, and in fact is yet another face of the flight / fight mechanism. The information that our loved one is trying to share is simply too dangerous to engage with and as our manners prevent us leaving the building, we pull this mental ‘vanishing trick’ by using the magic words “I know” PUFF! We are gone! Walls of invisibility surround us and protect us from these challenging thoughts. Behind our safety walls no one can help us; we are ’safe’ to march straight back into the same old stupid stunt we always pull in these circumstances… It is tough being a parent and facing this; in all honesty, it is harder to look into the mirror our loved ones are offering us and learn to see what they see. Next time you are tempted to say (or even think) “I know!” Are you brave enough to take and deep breath, sit down and try to listen? I’ll give it a go, will you? “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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Contributor's Note
Richard Derwent Cooke is a Facilitator, Coach & Change Agent and the founder of I-Change. He specialises in helping leaders, and their teams, clarify, develop and implement their plans. He has been working in the fields of personal and business change for over 25 years, working with international blue chip companies and individuals. Trained as a chartered accountant and in various alternative disciplines. See www.i-change.biz for more details, or email info@I-change.biz. Change & Stuff Blog: http://www.i-change.biz/blog/
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